First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
