what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize