You're my little dorito
I just gift wrapped bread.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
