You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
