Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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