dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
