GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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