Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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