well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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