I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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