He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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