A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize