I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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