Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize