last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
