It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
