i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What changed your mind?
Being sober
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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