would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
