I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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