I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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