I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
