If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
