Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
