never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He did a backflip because drugs
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