she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
