so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Sorry my hands just texted you
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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