I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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