my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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