which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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