True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
