Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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