How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
