Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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