"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
