I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
