Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
