I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
