thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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