Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
