She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Randomize