She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
