Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
