She is in my trunk
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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