White coat. Heels.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I could fuck to npr.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize