She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize