after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
