so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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