It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
