If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
