Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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