Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Randomize
