I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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