Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
