I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
