watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
