East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
