So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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