Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize