I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
