I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
