Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
