Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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