"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
