Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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