oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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