No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize