SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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