Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
