I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
