I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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