Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
