I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize