That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
