i just wanna soil my oats bro
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
