wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
