But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
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