toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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