You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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