If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
