pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
