And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize