guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
